That's right. You do. Some of you know it without me telling you why or how, but that's a topic for another day.
Today, you suck for a specific reason: You Don't Listen to Gil Scott-Heron.
I'm going to go against my better instincts and allow you to remedy this by picking up his greatest hits--The Revolution Will Not Be Televised. Some things are so important I'll act against said better instincts, dig? Oh, you say you've heard of that song, have you? Good for you, you saw that mid-'90s Nike commercial. You still suck, perhaps even moreso.
And when I suggest you "pick up" his music, let me be clear: purchase that shit. Do. Not. Steal. I only reserve this highest of accolades for artists who haven't been properly recognized. Sure, most of the money goes to a dying record company infrastructure, but when Mr. Scott-Heron has to grovel for his next record deal, he can point to sales one record higher than before. Trust me, you owe him that.
Because this world is cruel and unfair, this greatest hits remains un-remastered and kinda sounds crummy. But don't let that stop you, Norberto. Consider subjecting your ears to this sub-par sonic presentation as a form of penance for your acute failure-to-recognize. Perhaps there are other, better-sounding compilations? Perhaps, but then you'll miss out on the cover art, which should bother you even if you can't recognize that Mr. Scott-Heron, as depicted, looks like a douchebag roommate I had in my senior year of college. On behalf of that lanky fuck I apologize to you, Mr. Scott-Heron.
Should you remain unconvinced:
Should you still remain unconvinced, have someone call the coroner because you are dead to me.
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