An Unimportant Message From the Grammar Police

I am a member of the grammar police, though I don't work that beat as much as I used to.

However, there are two tiny things I take issue with these days. One is, I suppose, a matter of preference, but the other is a matter of right or wrong. Or is it the other way around? Oh hell, what I'm telling you is right, what you've been doing is wrong. Got it? Good.

First, "suffice to say." That's how I say it, and that's how it is. It means "it is sufficient to say." "Suffice it to say" remains acceptable, as do "suffices to say" and "it is suffice to say," but they're not as good and possibly even wrong. Why? Think about the only time anybody ever uses the word "suffice" other than the phrase we're talking about, e.g.: "No, John, you don't need to eat eight fish tacos, I think seven will suffice." Clearly, you could replace "suffice" there with "be sufficient."

Therefore, the "suffice it" construction would never make sense--you'd be saying "sufficient it to say" instead of "it is sufficient to say." That's just unnecessary and stupid. "Suffices" makes no sense either (you're gonna have to take my word for it, I'm boring myself trying to think how to explain why).

Bottom line: because the phrase is shorthand, let's start using the shortest version: "suffice to say." Anybody looks at you funny, tell them they're stupid and send them to me for reeducation.

Second, "per usual." That's right. You're saying to yourself, "Where's the 'as'?" It's right where it belongs--anywhere but in this phrase. "As usual" really means the same as "per usual." (Actually, in this context "per" means "according to" so I think "as usual" makes much more sense, but I'll permit "per usual.")

So, do you really mean to be saying "business as according to usual?" No, you don't. Do I care that Merriam-Webster dates "as per usual" back to 1782? No, I don't. Back then people capitalized words when they felt like it and even spelled words however they wanted. Do you want to return to such anarchy? I know I don't!

Bottom line: as above, why make something longer when it doesn't need to be? Remember, just because something is widely used doesn't mean it makes sense. Don't give in to laziness and apathy and herd mentality thinking!

Suffice to say, as usual, I hope you've enjoyed this probably pointless and definitely pedantic post. And if you liked this, you'll love my upcoming takedown of people who say "less" when they should say "fewer," followed by my investigation to find out who's behind the disappearing "r" in February.