Why You're Here:

You've said to yourself, "beauty walks a razor's edge, someday I'll make it mine."

You've often thought about what it would have been like to drop acid with Groucho Marx.

You know that until you measure it, an electron is everywhere, and your mind reels at the implications.

You'd like to get drunk on the wine from my sweet, sweet mind grapes.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Inception

I saw it yesterday. Had to wait a week because Jenn was out of town last weekend and we wanted to see it together. So, in that week, I noted that it was getting positive reviews and people around me were eager to talk about it. Very good signs.

Now, when it comes to compensating for hype, I am a pro's pro. At this stage in my movie-watching career I just do not get my expectations inflated. So, when you read the following, don't think I went in expecting MATRIX + THE USUAL SUSPECTS + THE DARK KNIGHT = MOVIEGASM OMG!!!

While I can't deny it was impressive, it left me cold and distinterested.

At its core, the plot was this: man offers thief chance to pull off impossible caper; if thief succeeds, man will fix the result of thief's past mistake. Ok, cool. But the thing to be stolen (or, rather, the thing to be planted during the break-in) and the reasons for doing it DID NOT MATTER. Industrial espionage between two "energy companies"? Had nothing to do with anything. Saito mentioned it in one sentence, and then it has absolutely no relevance to the entire movie. Is Saito's competitor evil? A front for a vast conspiracy? A guarantee to ruin the planet and imperil mankind's future? What will happen if Saito fails? Other than run-of-the-mill business shit, who knows?

This is what doomed the movie to failure for me. The reason could have been anything, and Nolan was content to pick something out of a hat and leave it at that. A capable filmmaker such as Nolan should have had the audience invested in BOTH the reason for the caper and what's at stake for the hero if he's successful. Was I supposed to care that the heir to the company never got love from his daddy? I didn't. Was I supposed to care that Saito busted up his competitor's multi-national corporation? I couldn't, because we did not know why it mattered other than the audience thinking, "Well, for a ruthless tycoon, Saito seems like an ok dude, I guess, so I hope he gets what he wants."

Now, as for Leo's regrets and what he was trying to regain and why...well, this is what Nolan really seemed to care about and what he felt gave the movie its heart. But he managed to clumsily telegraph everything to us. OF COURSE Leo knew "inception" was possible. How else did his wife suddenly get the idea to kill herself to escape the 50-year dream world she was happy to stay in but was boring him to tears? Sorry, Chris. Nothing clever there, at all.

But yes, the planning for the triple-dream scheme was cool. But that was about it.

While I understand that Nolan had to give the studio a whole lot of shoot-em-up CGI sequences so he could get this made, that stuff was painfully shoe-horned in. Oh, the heir has military training? Then his subconscious's dream-attackers will obviously be a highly trained security force that swarms on our heroes with snowmobiles and machine guns and turns this into the Bourne Identity/James Bond. Lame. (Even lamer considering the weakest aspects of Nolan's Batman movies were the action sequences. Though the blame here is on the studio, not Nolan.)

The other aspect that robbed this movie of any shot at being compelling was every single line of dialog being so ridiculously expository. It just wore me down. I couldn't listen to that shit anymore. I realize that complicated things were happening, but these weren't people, they were chess pieces verbalizing the instructions of the chess player. While there was a great deal of that in both Batman movies, it wasn't this overwhelming and Nolan left room for some nifty dialog that helped give the characters life.

Finally, it seems people wanted to discuss the ending. But the way I see it, there's nothing to discuss with regard to Leo. Given the amount of time he'd been away from his very young kids, they should have aged between the time he ran and when he shows up at the end. They hadn't, so he was still dreaming, The End. So showing us Leo waking up on the airplane was cheating. But maybe I missed something because I obviously stopped caring and started writing this review while still in the theater. Maybe the nice warm fluffy happy ending was justified. I was in no position to care.

Clearly I expected more from Nolan. Oh well. Let's hope it's out of his system.

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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Move Along, Nothing To See Here

I read the interview and the article below within minutes of each other.

(Full interview here.)
Michael Zezima: Monsanto has given the planet "gifts" like Agent Orange  and Roundup Ready crops, PCBs and GMOs, yet, for most humans, it has pretty much flown under the radar. To what would you attribute the fact that the vast majority of us rail mostly at governments, instead of the far more dangerous and powerfulmultinational corporations?
Marie-Monique Robin: The problem is that the corporations act behind the scene, manipulating information, studies, press and the experts of the regulatory agencies. To speak quite frankly, I had never imagined before that a company could resort to such procedures, to sell its harmful products, in complete impunity, during decades: concealing scientific data, lying, manipulating regulations, corruption, pressuring scientists and journalists, threats. The problem is also that governments do not take any legal action against companies which are repeatedly affecting the environment and the health of consumers. If Monsanto were a private person, it would be convicted as a great criminal, but current law protects the criminal companies, which are never held accountable for the damage they cause. (Emphasis mine.)
Oh, you mean like this?

SEC Split Over Goldman Deal
Republican Disputed Move to Impose Big Fine While Diluting Charge; 3-2 Vote
Thursday's settlement—in which Goldman agreed to pay a $550 million fine, but didn't have to admit it committed fraud—capped one of the most closely watched cases in the SEC's 76-year history. The agency had charged Goldman with intentionally duping clients by selling a mortgage-security product that secretly was designed by another Goldman client betting that the housing market would crash.
Paying a fine. Half a billion. That's just the cost of doing business. Chump change to Goldman. Move along, nothing to see here. No trial, no examination of Goldman's practices.

News of the SEC's lawsuit grabbed big headlines in April, but news of the settlement will be accompanied by crickets and tumbleweeds.

This is an obvious and noxious consequence of a legal system that cannot address criminal behavior by corporations, which I've written about here and here.

**********

On a related note, with my wife out of town I really went wild last night and watched a 4-hour BBC documentary, A Century of the Self. You can view it here, starting with the first of four parts. You'll learn about Edward Bernays, nephew of Sigmund Freud and progentior of the 20th century's darkest art, commercial propaganda, better known as "public relations." You'll get a good sense of how and why consumerism, corporatism devoured our quaint and old-timey notions of capitalism and democracy. And best of all you get to be the kind of insufferable twit who can claim to watch 4-hour BBC documentaries.

Finally, as a reminder, please keep reading Glenn Greenwald. The man's output nearly defies belief. His almost-daily posting on politically important issues is chock full of links to and about the people and issues he covers. I hesitate to throw labels at him, but lets just say he pisses off Republicans and "center-right" Democrats in equal measure and is scathing in his analysis of what passes for punditry and consensus in Washington. Put another way, this man is my hero.

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Saturday, July 10, 2010

Been a Long Time

Gainful employment is the reason. Had to take a break from thinking about stuff for a little while so I could divert those mental resources to kicking ass. The days when I could kick ass with my brain tied behind my back are well in the past, I'm afraid.

I will try to siphon off some brain juice for use over here, for the purpose of comedy and making you say, "while I'm inclined to disagree, your argument is so compelling I must agree with you, damn it." Hopefully at the same time, but don't hold your breath.

Speaking of juice, I hereby declare this the funniest picture on the googlenet (apologies if you've seen it. Wait, no apologies--if you've seen it you're still going to laugh at it):


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